Sustenance
by SailorStrut
Summary: Kolyat gets an email from Shepard asking him to meet her on the Citadel. All he knows is he won't be calling her 'step-momma' anytime soon.


Kolyat wasn't entirely sure why he had agreed to this, but when Commander Shepard requested someone's presence, people usually ended up going whether they wanted to or not. He had received an email through Bailey, who informed him that he was to meet her in Zakera Café at noon, if he chose to come. There was no other information, which had convinced him for a few minutes that it wasn't Shepard at all, just a clever trick by some spammer. He'd probably be roped into buying a copy of _Citadel: The Movie_ again. Only a moment later did he realize that in the recent letter from Thane, he had mentioned Shepard had just discovered that she could respond to emails. The Savior of the Citadel had no idea what the 'reply' button had previously been for.

Alright, so maybe it was genuine. That didn't mean he should go; he still wasn't that close with his father, and the last time they had met, Shepard hit him. If she wanted to apologize, she could have just said so in the email—what else could she possibly say to him?

"Kolyat?" The drell gave a quick smile to Celsus, a young turian who had just started working at C-Sec. The two had become friends quickly, and usually took their lunch breaks together. Today, when Celsus asked, he received a different answer than normal.

"Sorry, I've got to meet Shepard." Ouch. Not what he had wanted to say. It looked like he was going to see her after all.

"Shepard? Commander Shepard?" Celsus' mandibles twitched into what Kolyat recognized as his version of a grin, and immediately his mind wandered back to a recent night at the Dark Star with his friend. There weren't a lot of turian women on the Citadel, and even fewer drell, yet Celsus seemed perfectly fine dancing with asari and humans, claiming they were beautiful, and could even do some wild things with their mouths, things that made a relationship with a turian woman seem impossible to return to. Kolyat had tried to forget the ensuing conversation, but it seemed that his father's interests weren't as abnormal as he once thought.

"Get her autograph for me, will you?" Was all he said, turning back to his reports, and Kolyat couldn't help but smile. Celsus was able to read him like a book, and knew he didn't want to listen to reports about the human woman. Besides, he'd be able to ask her soon enough, if he wanted to.

Getting up, he sighed and headed toward Zakera Café, making sure he would be right on time. At least now he had some sort of underlying reason to go: get that autograph for his friend. That was enough of a driving force to send him into the store. With a quick glance, he saw Shepard near the back, examining what seemed to be turian ale.

"Kolyat. You came." While it was a statement, he couldn't help but feel Shepard was at least a little bit surprised by his arrival. While he didn't have the assassination skills his father possessed, he was quite observant, and he knew when humans raised their eyebrows, it indicated surprise of some sort. Whether good or bad.

"I got your email." Short and to the point. Whatever they were about to talk about, it couldn't have been too urgent, as Shepard was still examining the ale.

"I thought I'd get this for a teammate of mine. He's been through a lot lately, especially with his family, and he deserves a drink or two." With a quick nod, she holds out her hand, the human gesture that meant 'wait right here' and went to go purchase the alcohol. Kolyat could already feel the anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Shepard had the nerve to contact him after assaulting him, and then finish errands instead of talking to him? Before he could think of a proper way to snark back at her, she returned, looking slightly guilty.

"Sorry about that. I was sure Bailey would keep you a bit longer, and I'd have time before you came. How's your work at C-Sec going?" Small talk, usually just a pleasantry. This time, he knew she was just trying to open him up.

"Fine, plenty busy." He wouldn't play this game with her. If this was a ploy to get him to start calling her step-mom, he wasn't going to fall into it.

"Good, you're talented, and I'm sure you're enjoying it. Sorry about hitting you last time, by the way. Didn't really have another option." A pause, then a small sigh. "This is about your father. He isn't doing well."

Well, he hadn't expected to hear that. In retrospect, he probably should have seen this coming, but he hadn't been thinking about his father's illness that much. Thane never mentioned it in his letters, and Kolyat always took that as a sign that things were okay, that maybe he had gotten treated.

"His medical reports say he's got less than fifty percent lung capacity right now, and it's already starting to metastasize to his stomach and liver. If he gets hurt in combat, he could be down for good." Shepard's voice was clear and strong, but her eyes were back on the bottle of ale she had purchased, unable to look Kolyat in the eye.

"Is there anything he can do?" The sound of the young drell's voice shook him a little—it wavered. He didn't want to show concern—why should he? His father only started talking to him when he learned he was terminal, he didn't care.

"He refused a lung transplant, but this was a couple of months ago. When he said he was still in his battle sleep. He can still get on the list, maybe get a pair of lungs before it spreads further, but he has to agree. I'm going to ask, but I think he'd listen to you too."

"Me?" And there it was. The reason Shepard contacted him after all this, called him away from his lunch break. A favor. It was always a favor.

"Kolyat, I think that-"

"What? You think that it would be a good idea for me to write to my father—a man who abandoned me, who let my mother die—and tell him that he should get a lung transplant so he can continue having sex with his new young human girlfriend?" It was like when he slipped on the floor of C-Sec last week. He could see it happening in slow motion, was well aware, but couldn't stop it. "Should I tell him to put his earrings back in too? Maybe get a pair of sunglasses, pop his collar some more? Continue to live his life like he was my age, while conveniently forgetting about his son and dead wife?"

Shepard bit the inside of her cheek, deciding not to mention the new outfit she had bought him, complete with new earrings and sunglasses. Instead, she nodded slowly, eyes downcast.

"You have every right to be angry at him, Kolyat, but I want you to know that he loves you. He talks about you every day, praises the man you've become and shames himself that he wasn't there for you. Every time we go to the Citadel, or Illuim, hell even Omega he looks for a present for you, something to show he cares."

Embarrassment was slowly starting to creep up on him, and the unmistakable shame of calling his father out filled his throat, choked him. He wanted to respond, but Shepard, perhaps understanding his predicament, continued.

"The two of us may never be that close. I know you think I'm trying to replace your mother, and believe me, I don't want that. You don't have to say anything to him, and I shouldn't have brought it up like this, but God help me, I just-"

"You believe in a god?" Kolyat's voice finally returned as he turned his eyes toward her, breaking the silence in which the woman was trying to find her words. "I learned about all the old gods growing up. Amonkira, Arashu, the works. I just never thought you were the type."

A soft smile graced Shepard's face, and she seemed more inviting. "I also learned all about God growing up. There's a lot of human religions, and I guess I don't strictly follow any of them, but when I get a little scared, I give a quick prayer up to whoever's listening."

"You get scared?" _Oh come on Kolyat, you sound like you're a little gap-toothed kid, gaping up at her! You're an adult, act like it!_

The smile that the human shot him was full of relief, and Kolyat almost had to do a double-take. The soldier that had stood in front of him was gone, and in her place stood a simple woman, worried about the man she loved and trying to talk to his son. This wasn't Commander Shepard anymore; it was just…wait, what was her first name? Why didn't he know?

"All the time. Everyone does, but when you're a marine, you have to hold it in and make little one-liners instead. Sound like a badass. It sucks sometimes."  
The underlying truth was there—she was scared for Thane. And in her fear, she turned to someone else, a back-up in case her plan fell through.

"I'll write to him tonight."

"Thanks." She moved her hand forward then retracted it, shaking her head slightly. Kolyat noticed, and shrugged.

"I don't hate you, by the way. I'm not even that angry anymore. Mom died ten years ago, you aren't replacing her and he can be with whoever he wants. Just don't expect me to call you step-mom or anything."

She laughed at that, seeming far more at ease, and this time actually did pat his shoulder. "It's just Shepard, no worries. Thanks again, and good luck with Bailey. He gives you any trouble, just send me an email, alright? Now that I know how to actually respond, no thanks to Kelly." The last part was mumbled, but Kolyat barely heard it. She was opening a door, inviting him to talk to her if he wanted to. He wasn't sure if he'd take it, but it was a nice gesture, and a step in the right direction.

"I will. See you around." With a quick wave he turned around, frowning and pausing before yelling, "Hey, Shepard!"

She was already out the door, but turned around, puzzled. "What?"

"Can I get your autograph?"

Five minutes and a broken pen later, Kolyat was at a desk in C-Sec, staring at the computer and the empty letter he was writing to his father. His thoughts were interrupted by a white bag being dropped onto his keyboard.

"Had a feeling you didn't eat lunch," Celsus said, already moving back toward his desk, grin in his voice. "Thanks for the autograph, by the way. I'll fawn about it later, right now you've got to eat your sandwich and get back to work. We've got a couple reports to fill."

"In a minute," Kolyat murmured, moving the bag aside, fingers already moving briskly across the keyboard. "I've got to write a letter."


End file.
